Illusion of Control -- Coping with Christmas Anxiety and Depression

Today, we are continuing of FGHs of Coping with Christmas Anxiety and Depression.  So far we have covered Face Faulty Strategies, Give Gentleness and Grace, and Have Fun.  Let’s continue with letter I….

Illusion of Control

Someone I love, I’ll call her Joan, would get her Christmas shopping done early, diligently wrap the gifts and then hide them away in the attic. Little did Joan know, each year her son located the presents, carefully unwrapped them to see what was inside and then expertly re-wrapped them to their original condition.  Joan did all that she could to surprise her kids with terrific gifts -- but because she could not manage all of the factors, she was unable to control the outcome.  

Admit it -- we all like to have some measure of control.  Holidays can intensify that desire because the media is filled with images of perfect families in beautifully decorated homes, eating chef quality food and exchanging ideal presents.  Attempting to achieve perfection means that we must expertly manage and direct the people and circumstances in our lives.  Our attempts to control things often lead to added frustration, disappointment and exhaustion which then fuels anxiety and depression.

But please hear this: Control is just an illusion.  Like Joan, we can plan and execute our intention, but we can’t know the choices of those around us. It is impossible to control every variable necessary for a given outcome.  If we give up our illusion of control, we are better able to accept the choices of others and embrace the reality of our imperfect lives.  Surrendering our demand for control can reduce our anxiety and depression.  And it frees us to discover the rest and peace that comes with continued dependence on God’s wisdom and love.  

Foolish dreamers live in a world of illusion; wise realists plant their

feet on the ground…..The Fear-of-God is like a spring of living water so

you won’t go off drinking from poisoned wells.  (Prov 14: 18, 27 MSG)

Tomorrow we will conclude the FGHs with a focus on Journeying Together.

Peace to you.